A financial mindset is more than just spending habits. It’s the underlying beliefs, values, and emotions that shape our financial decisions. As we navigate life’s ups and downs, these mindsets play a significant role. Take, for instance, me, I used to meticulously budget every month, I fell under the “Planning” Money Habitude. Every pound was accounted for, ensuring I felt in control (and maybe a little relieved!).
Dependent on which methodology you follow, there are a number of different archetypes, money story types or habitudes. I like to follow the Money Habitudes types (https://online.moneyhabitudes.com/), which categorises financial mindsets into six distinct groups.
Planning: These individuals are thoughtful about saving and spending, often with a budget in place. While the plan itself might not be perfect, they prioritise sticking to it for a sense of control.
Security: Often linked to planning, the Security habit prioritises financial safety. People with this mindset may save more than necessary, seeking a strong financial buffer. This can manifest as hoarding tendencies (something I can personally relate to – money used to be my security blanket!).
Spontaneous: These individuals act impulsively, often making financial decisions based on emotions. While exciting, this can lead to impulsive spending and subsequent guilt. They are quick to jump on opportunities which planners may not.
Carefree: This group may lack the skills or desire to manage money, often delegating financial responsibility to others.
Giving: These generous individuals prioritise helping others, sometimes at a risk to themselves, potentially neglecting their own financial needs.
Status: Driven by a desire to fit in and keep up with appearances, this mindset can lead to unnecessary spending to maintain a certain lifestyle. This is where the “keeping up with the Jones” saying comes from. They may spend on things they cannot really afford.
It is important to remember that all archetypes and habitudes have pros and cons and that one is not better than the other, a balance is what we are aiming for. Many people exhibit a blend of Money Habitudes. By understanding your dominant financial mindset, you can make more informed financial decisions and achieve your long-term goals.
Are financial mindsets formed early in life? – and can you change yours?
Financial mindsets are shaped early in life, our childhood experiences play a significant role in forming our beliefs and attitudes towards money and are formed by the age of 7. We are influenced by:
- Parents/ guardians: The way our parents handled money – their spending habits, attitude to saving, and discussions about finances impact how we feel about money. Did you grow up in a household where money was a source of stress or was it secretive? Or was it discussed openly and positively? These experiences heavily influence our own money stories. It is important to remember that there is no blame here, as parents can only lead how they know from their own stories, habits and influences.
- Early Experiences: Did you have early successes or failures in managing money (like a paper round. I worked on a market stall)? These experiences can shape how we feel about money; how confident we feel managing money and the decisions we now make.
Can You Change Your Financial Mindset?
You can change your financial mindset, while our beliefs are deeply rooted, our financial mindsets are not set in stone. Here are some steps to get started:
- Self-Reflection/awareness: Start by identifying your current money stories. What are your beliefs about money? How do you feel about spending and saving? What is your earliest memory of money and how does that make you feel?
- Challenge Limiting Beliefs: Are you holding onto negative beliefs about money that are no longer serving you? For example, “I’m not good with money” or “Money is the root of all evil.” Challenge these beliefs, they did once benefit you but is that still the case?
- Try something new: Step outside your comfort zone. What new financial habits could you try, such as spending a bit more on yourself, setting up a regular savings amount or creating friction in the buying process (could you wait 24 hours before purchasing).
- Seek Guidance: Consider working with a financial coach to understand the stories you hold and develop more balanced money habits.
Remember, changing your financial mindset takes time and effort, it isn’t often one and done. Be patient with yourself, celebrate small victories, and don’t be afraid to seek support along the way.
How to navigate if your partner has a different money mindset
When we have different money stories in a relationship, it can be challenging as we will often have different ways we save, spend and invest. Here are some strategies you can try:
- Open and Honest Communication:
- Regular Money Dates: It is important to have dedicated time to discuss finances openly and honestly, otherwise we can make comments and start arguments when we are not in the right frame of mind. Set a regular time, that you can sit down together, with a cup of tea and talk through any money conversations that need to be had.
- Active Listening: Ensure you listen to your partner’s opinion, even if it differs from yours. Try your hardest not to comment immediately and let them talk. Often as people talk freely, a more open discussion can be had.
- “I” Statements: Avoid confrontational comments such as, “You always spend too much,” try “I feel anxious when we overspend on things we I don’t feel we need.”
- Understand Each Other’s Mindsets:
- Identify Your Money Habitudes: Determine your dominant money habits (e.g., Saver, Spender, Planner) and encourage your partner to do the same.
- Acknowledge Past Experiences: Recognise that past experiences and upbringing shape your financial mindsets. Everyone has different experiences and it’s important to remember that generationally, your parents would have lived in different times with World Wars and rationing and this will impact your money stories.
- Find Common Ground:
- Shared Financial Goals: Set joint financial goals, such as how much you need/want for retirement. What lifestyle do you want during retirement, do you want to spend more now or save? Do you want to travel or renovate your house?
- Compromise and Negotiation: Be willing to compromise and find solutions that work for both of you, as with all areas of a relationship and money is no different.
- Consider Separate Accounts:
- Joint Account for Shared Expenses: Create a joint account to cover shared expenses like rent, bills, and food shopping.
- Individual Accounts for Personal Spending: You could have separate accounts for personal spending to accommodate different spending styles. You could also have a joint “fun pot” for opportunities. I have both, we have a shared “fun pot” and we have separate accounts that we can spend on whatever we like. My partner likes trains, I don’t understand it, but that is ok, it’s his money.
- Seek Professional Help:
- Financial coaching A financial coach can provide objective guidance and help you develop a financial plan that works for both of you.
Remember, navigating financial differences takes time and effort. Be patient, understanding, and committed to finding solutions that work for both of you.
Can financial therapy help – and what would it involve?
Financial therapy can be incredibly helpful for individuals and couples who want to improve their relationship with money.
What Does Financial Therapy Involve?
Financial therapy/coaching goes beyond traditional financial advice (such as financial advisor or accountant advice). It involves looking into the underlying emotions, beliefs, and behaviours that influence your financial decisions and habits. Here are some common aspects of financial therapy:
- Identifying Limiting Beliefs: Financial coaches help you uncover your beliefs and stories about money that may be preventing you from living the life you want. These beliefs can stem from childhood experiences,societal influences, or past financial setbacks.
- Developing Healthy Money Habits: The financial coach can support you to develop and implement healthy financial habits, such as budgeting, saving, and investing. It’s important to note that while financial coaches can provide valuable support, some may not have formal financial certifications. and therefore, you may need to seek another person to support with budgeting, saving, investing and pension advice.
Now, I am not saying it is easy to change your habits, learn about money and become confident in financial decisions. But everything else worth having, that you have already achieved in life, proves that you can do uncomfortable things.
Imagine a life where you can confidently decide if you want to purchase that item, go on that holiday, put your prices up, invest in that course, retire when you want to, buy private health care, support that family member, or buy from that local shop.
Being good with money not only gives you financial freedom but life freedom. To live a life that you choose and that aligns with your values.
If you’re considering financial therapy/coaching, it’s important to find a qualified coach who is certified in financial coaching.
Remember, financial therapy/coaching is an ongoing process. It requires commitment and effort, but it can have a profound impact on your financial well-being and overall happiness
Can you influence the money mindset of others in your life – children/grandchildren – and how would you go about this?
You can influence the money mindset of children and grandchildren, just as you were influenced by your parents/grandparents, teachers and others.
- Lead by Example: Children learn by observing, so consider your habits and the words you use around money.
- Open Discussions: Engage in age-appropriate conversations about money. Discuss topics like saving, spending, earning, and charity donations.
- Involve Them in Financial Decisions: Allow children to participate in family budgeting decisions and having their own money which they can make decisions around.
- Read Books and Play Games: Playing games such as monopoly or similar games, can teach children about money and how it works without it becoming too complicated.
By incorporating these strategies into your interactions with children and grandchildren, you can help them develop healthy financial habits and a positive relationship with money.
Where to seek further help if you want to change your money mindset
If you’re in the UK and looking to change your money mindset, here are some resources to explore:
- Books such as by Jen Sincero or Denise Duffield Thomas
- Podcast by Jen Sincero, Denise Duffield Thomas or me.
- Work with a qualified Financial Coach.
- Counselling Directory: This website allows you to search for therapists in your area who specialise in money-related issues. You can filter your search by location, type of therapy, and other criteria.